Ok so its been almost a month since I have been off the trail and inquiring minds want to know ...
How has your experience on the trail changed you?
I purposely held off writing this segment because simply put, it takes time to know. Our consciousness seldom recognizes the beginning of growth within us; fruit appears on the tree long after the seed is sown. I can tell you it has made me appreciate the little things we often take for granted and the never ending beauty I witnessed daily: shadows on mountains during sunrise, staring up at the milky-way night-after-night, the sweet scent of lupines, and the never ending splendor of views from the crest.
The trail taught me how important it is to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. You will never know what you are capable of, what treasures are there for you to see, feel, taste and smell or what thrills you will have when you face and overcome dangers unless you get out there. How short life is and how quickly it passes. Don't let your doubts stand in your way. You can do far more than you realize. Age is no barrier. Just make up your mind to do it and start working on how to make it work. Don't sweat the details. Most of what you're worried about will never come to pass. You will be giving others a chance to step up to the plate and you may be helping them get out of their comfort zone as well.
How are you adjusting to being off the trail?
Weeks leading up to the end I had feelings of joy and sorrow. I wanted to savor every mile and every minute but I wanted to finish before bad weather hit and my knee went on strike.
Timing is everything: Waldo at Harts Pass just 2 weeks after I completed the trail
The day after I completed the trail was like a zero so the usual routine was the same- just no hiker box this time. Then there was the distraction of Vancouver and Seattle and plenty of opportunity to walk. I insisted on donning my pack. I felt naked walking without it and who knows I might make a few purchases in route. The hustle bustle of normal life is a bit disturbing when you come off the trail. Gone Fishing saved me from getting run over several times as my tendency was to jaywalk - after all there are no traffic lights on the trail. Nights were the hardest for me. The rooms were stuffy and it was too noisy outside to open the windows, not to mention I had not earned the level of exhaustion I was used to and could not sleep more than a few hours. My leg muscles started cramping as if rebelling and I even considered walking home to Texas (Just kidding). I stayed in Seattle a few more days waiting to meet up with old friends but all the exposure to sick passengers left me sick with a cold. After Gone Fishing left I knew it was really over. With no one there to discuss the trail I became depressed. As I laid sick in bed at the hostel and stared at my backpack I couldn't help feeling sorry for myself and for my pack. Needing the wall to hold it up, deflated without the body and gear that once held it together, it looked out of place and sad too.
So I got my sorry ass up and went shopping. As bad as I felt I cheered myself up with my shopping spree (its a girl thing). The next day I made banana pancakes, then spent time at the post office shipping my purchases home. I stopped looking at my hiking pictures and started looking at family pictures again. I made it back to Texas in good spirits.
But once home I found it hard to motivate myself to accept all my previous responsibilities. I wanted to slow everything down. I did not feel ready to start working. Driving a car felt like cheating. I lost my appetite for food and for life. I had missed my family and my old life but now at home, I missed the trail--my new, old life. So I started cleaning (another girl thing). I cleaned out my closet and gave away nearly half of my things. I just spent 6 months wearing the same pair of pants, shirt and shoes- did I really need all this stuff? I wanted to simplify. I attacked other rooms as well and it kept me busy and cheered me up. I spent time in my garden and time with my chickens and took my dog for walks wearing my backpack. I went to the dentist, the orthopedic doctor to have my knee examined and I cooked. I wrote in my blog and read the comments from followers. I wrote thank-you notes to trail angels and slowly began to feel happy again. But it is a process and my family has been very supportive. Just the same it's other hikers you turn to because only they really know where you have come back from, what you miss and why you yearn to return.
Time has a way of moving faster the older you get and my energies now are focused on sharing my experience with others. There is much to do. I am working on my gear review and recommendations for those planning a PCT hike. I am putting together a presentation to share with interested groups and helping my husband prepare to do the trail next year. I am making plans to be at kick-off to support the class of 2013 and will do some angel magic with GF at Walker Pass. Currently I am hiking trails in Kauai with my backpack on my back and the smile back on my face.
Heart
